Jeannie Herman, LPC, NCC
How to Reignite a Relationship
Updated: Jan 15, 2020
Being in love is such a precious and fragile gift. Unfortunately, for most of us, the intense positive emotions tend to fade as the relationship progresses. There are strategies, however, which can help couples to rediscover their passion for each other.
Finding the tender balance between complete oneness with your partner and wholeness as individuals can be challenging. You want to fall into the universe of the relationship which is so enticing, especially in the beginning. But you need to maintain your own integrity and boundaries in order to continue to be the individual your partner fell in love with.
When couples become enmeshed they are unable to differentiate themselves from their lover. It is essential that individuals in a couple find time to do the healthy activities that make them feel alive and “like themselves”. This may be engaging in creative projects, college courses, gardening, sports, spiritual practices, friendships…. When you are able to get energized and inspired, you bring that back to the relationship.
Here are some other ways to bring energy back into your relationship:
Do something fun together!
Plan a trip to somewhere neither of you have ever been. Even if you have to save money for a year to do this, having the goal and something to look forward to will spice up your lives together. If you cannot travel far, a night or two out of town can be stimulating and reviving. Even something as simple as going for a walk together somewhere new can liven things up. The idea is to discover and explore together.
Get through challenges together.
Hopefully this will be a self-induced challenging time. Some examples are going on a long hike, doing a cleansing diet, taking a course or a workshop together…
Set and work toward common goals
Saving for a vacation, working on a household project, a jigsaw puzzle…
Spend time apart.
Have designated “alone time” to respect each other's need for personal space.
Exercise will lift your spirits, dissolve built up frustration, increase you sex drive and give you more confidence.